Wednesday, February 10, 2010

How Not To Take A Good Picture

My daughters are able to take great pictures of themselves. It galls me. As hard as I try, it doesn't work for me. I manage to cut my chin off and no matter how I comb and curl my hair before hand, it always comes out just dorky in the picture.

So I decide to take a picture from below, but at the last minute realized what a serious mistake that was and lifted my head at the last minute to keep from having gobbler's neck...

Whew, that was close. So maybe a side shot? ...Nope, didn't work.

Maybe hold the camera in the front, dead-on...nope, that didn't work.

Lift the camera up for just a little better angle (bite lip in process)...nope, that didn't work.

Hold camera up just a little higher? Nope, that didn't work... somehow it created a very mean look.
Well, hold camera up a little more and smile a little...nope, that didn't work!

Side angle? ...Nope, that didn't work.

Well, I gave up after THAT photo session. When Bill came home, I asked him to take a decent picture of me. Ok, I'm smiling...take the picture, take the picture, take the picture... Nope, that didn't work.
Bill says we need more light. Let's go in the hallway. He's backing up to get a better view. Oops. He nearly trips when he clicks the picture...Nope, that didn't work.

What? He says go by the window in the dining room to get better light and he won't have to worry about the flash. Hmmm...the flash is the problem???? Ok, by the window...nope, that didn't work.
Waiting, waiting, waiting...SNAP THE PICTURE! ...Nope, that didn't work.

Ok Bill. Just give me the camera and no one gets hurt. I give up. What? Go outside in the light and I'll get a better picture if I don't have to use the flash? OH...THAT DIDN'T WORK!

I'm now used to the sun, but what's that up in the corner? Wasp's nest? oops, that didn't work.

Try again. Concentrate. Man, can't blame this one on the camera. ...Nope, that doesn't work.

I give up again, I hate the sunshine. Later, we're going to town. Maybe if I get in the car and take a picture, it will be light enough to not use the flash, but I won't have to squint so much. ...Nope, that didn't work.
My last hope. Still don't like it, but, hey, if I make it really that might work!


  1. I never, ever use flash. Flash is not your friend. One of my cameras has a little thing that flips around so you can see what you are photographing from the front of the camera so I can see myself as I take my own picture- quite a helpful feature- and then I take a bunch so I am sure to get maybe one that I like.

  2. I wouldn't let any pregnant women read this post. They might pee a little.

  3. I have read this post a handful of times, and I still laugh out loud each and every time. Poor Mama.