Monday, May 3, 2010

To Hell And Back

So much happened when I got back from being with Jaysa and Mike for Ben's birth that I never really got to post about the time period from Ben's birth to well after Raymond and Jessie moved to the retirement community in Sherman. So I'm going to go back and catching up on the posts I would've made if I had not had so much going on.

The day Jaysa went into labor, she and I were at lunch and she was having "cramps" which I started timing at 22 minutes apart. I said I thought she might be in labor, but she said she thought she was cramping due to having just had a vaginal exam at the doctor's office.

Well...the cramps kept coming and got about 10 mins apart before we got smart and realized "yes...she's in LABOR!" So I drove us home, which was 20 mins heading in the wrong direction. We got her stuff rounded up, called Mike, and then waited for the contractions to get closer together.

When we all got settled in at the hospital, we were in high spirits thinking this was going to go quick and smooth. Mike got his doctor-garb on and prepared to deliver the baby. He even gave us a little jig to show his happiness.

I decided to get some exercise myself, and proceeded to show Jaysa and Mike my rendition of Snoopy Sale's "Flee Hop" dance. We were almost innocent in our belief this was going to be a breeze...

Then we waited...and waited...and waited. About 8 pm we started to realize this was going to take more effort than we thought.

Jaysa was tired of having contractions since about 11 o'clock that morning and she got a little sleep before the real business got at hand. Mike watched her adoringly, appearing as if he could take away some of the burden of the contractions just through breathing with her.

The night was drawing to a close and the doctor expressed his concern that Ben was caught with his head sideways, and that no matter how much longer Jaysa and Mike tried, Ben would not be born without a Cesarean section. This was disappointing news, but after pushing for so long with no results, Jaysa and Mike were ready to put their trust in the doctor.

We had arrived on Feb 16th, fresh and ready for this adventure. It was almost the next day when the nurse and doctor took Jaysa down the hall and into the delivery room.

Mike followed Jaysa's bed down the long hall and into the delivery room. I got this last shot of Mike from the window in the door. I was not allowed to go with them past the door to the last hall.

I do not have the words to convey how lonely I was at my post in that hallway. No one was there, just me and the door. I stood guard and prayed. It had only been less than a year since Lily's birth and that birth taught me the power of prayer. So there I was left, and there I stood, leaning against that door all by myself and praying. I didn't stop until the doctor came out and told me all was well at about 2 a.m.

The doctor said Mike and the baby had gone further down that hallway and into the nursery, and that I could see the baby if I went down to the window outside the nursery and knocked. I did as directed and the curtains opened, and there was the most glorious sight. Ben was worn out from all the commotion and Mike looked like he was ready for another delivery if needed!

I walked back to the room we started out in, sat myself down, and cried and cried for about 45 minutes. I couldn't stop. I never told anyone until this moment. I guess it was just all the emotion of the day and night that just were all balled up inside. I'm sure it was an "ugly cry" as Oprah describes the red-eyed, red-faced, swollen lid look she so often has. I think it had something to do with Ben not having to have tubes and machines attached to him as Lily did those first 7 days of her life. Whatever it was, here I was a grandma with a perfectly healthy little grandchild and I couldn't stop bawling my eyes out!

I made sure no one got a picture of me with Ben until I could get cleaned up and calmed down later that morning. I look so calm, it's hard for even me to believe I was so helplessly emotional just a short while before.

1 comment:

  1. Poor Mama! Sorry that we put you through all that stress and emotion. Looking back on the 12 hours or contraction and 3 hours of pushing, just to have a c-section, I realized that while I was exhausted, physically and emotionally, I never stopped to think how exhausting all of it was on you and Mike, who were by my side the whole time without rest and helpless. Thanks for being there for me, Mike and Ben. It meant the world and we love you!